A Cure for Wellness: A Review

After watching A Cure for Wellness for the second time, I have a few questions. The first time watching the movie, I feel like the weirdness and the craziness of A Cure for Wellness makes you overlook the questions that are brought up in the beginning of the film. For this review, I’m going to put a SPOILER WARNING in case anyone wants to actually see the movie.

The first thing we see is a man named Miller dying from a heart attack. He’s mentioned a couple of times after it, then his narrative is done. It would’ve been better to just open with the main character, Lockhart, putting his things in the new corner office. Another thing from the beginning is when the board calls Lockhart in for a meeting, and Lockhart had done something to create an investigation into the firm, we don’t know what he did other than the fact it was amateur, but it’s kind of just left there. They don’t explain anything, and just use it as a flash factor for one of the board members to ask Lockhart if “he’s ever had a twelve-inch black dick in his ass. Jail.” I feel like that was the whole reason for bringing up the “investigation” into something we don’t know about.

Lockhart reads the letter from the CEO I believe of the company and leaves for the resort/sanitarium in Switzerland. As he’s on the train for the sanitarium, we get a flashpremonition. That’s a flashback/premonition combo. His mother died and we see flashes of a painting on fire, eels, I think bodies in tanks and a girl. As Lockhart leaves the train and takes a car up to the sanitarium, we learn a few things about the background of the castle the sanitarium is built on. We get these facts intermittently throughout the movie, it ads more weirdness to the plot overall.

In the 1800s, there was a Baron that lived in the castle on the hill. He was obsessed with the purity of his bloodline, so he married his sister and renounced the church. His sister was infertile, but the baron found something odd in the water. The eels had some kind of healing properties, so the baron tried to create a “cure” from them and experimented on the peasants. He figured out how to dilute the “cure” so it didn’t kill people when they took it, but in the process, the people experimented on became dried up like mummies. With the cure refined, the sister was finally able to bear a child, but the peasants revolted. They burned down the castle and carried the sister away. They cut out the baby before burning the sister and throwing the baby in the aquifer under the castle.

With all of these pieces thrown at you, the audience connects the dot and figures out the girl, the one from the trailer named Hannah, is actually the baron’s daughter, and the director of the sanitarium is the baron from 200 years ago. He has been using the cure to protect Hannah from disease, including having her period. Now here’s where I am also a bit confused. Why did the baron, knowing Hannah was his daughter, wait 200 years for his daughter to go through stresses and new things because of Lockhart and bring on Hannah’s period. At the end, the baron even says he’s tried to keep her from this ordeal, even though as soon as it happens, a light switch goes off in his brain and he wants to have sex with her, his own daughter, to make another child. “To keep the bloodline pure.” Why did he wait 200 years for this to happen? Was he okay with Hannah being “pure” and just his daughter forever? Was he waiting for Hannah to get her period, but also saving her from it? Even watching it a second time, they didn’t really explain anything they brought up in the movie.

Overall, A Cure for Wellness is an odd movie. It’s not bad, but definitely feels like it wasn’t edited to the greatest extent it should’ve been. There were no reasons for some scenes to be in the movie, but if you just look at the surface, it’s not a bad movie. It’s extremely weird. I would almost put it up there with Naked Lunch, but it’s not that crazy. If you want a one time experience that is weird, and don’t mind the weirdness, watch it in theaters, but if you’re on the fence, just wait for the DVD. It’s good, but not amazing. Good luck.

Rings: A Semi-Review

So I just got back from watch the new Rings movie. I liked it, but I’m not sure how well it fits in with the Ring mythos. It’s been a couple of years since I watched Ring 1 & 2, but I feel like in Ring 2, the entire story of Samara was finished. I thought Rachel had finished finding Samara, and helped her “become good” and ended the cycle.

With Rings, I can’t tell if it connects with the original series, or if it’s a stand-alone/prequel. I kind of like the characters, but the writers used the boyfriend hero trope way too much. Julia is a pretty good character, but I feel like she rushes into things and then needs to get saved too many times by her boyfriend. Spoilers ahead. With the main character’s boyfriend at college, she has to stay at home to take care of her mother (which is only brought up once at the beginning of the movie.) He meets a biology professor that had found the tape and for “extra credit,” the boyfriend watches the tape as an experiment to see if there is life after death. He goes MIA, and in comes the main character.

She goes to the college to look for her boyfriend and finds this group of students hooked in this experiment. To save her boyfriend, Julia watches the tape, but something is different. Her movie that she needs to show someone has more in it than everyone else. They follow the clues and they go to Samara’s hometown? This is where Rings separates from the other English Ring movies. We find out about Samara’s actual parents, instead of her adopted ones? As Julia tries to find Samara and make out the visions she is giving her, Julia and her boyfriend find out about how Samara’s father treated her and her mother? Even though Samara was abandoned. I think this is where I became confused between this one and the other two movies.

I don’t know, I’m going to hopefully rewatch the first two soon and come back to this to figure out the timelines. Rings wasn’t scary, but then again, neither were the first two movies. I wish Sadako vs. Kayako came to US theaters. I’d say it was good, but only if you like the first two. Watch it if you like.

Split: A Review

Just as a thing right now, I don’t personally like M. Night Shyamalan, or any of his movies, so this review may be a bit biased. I tried to be optimistic, but I would say he did what he always does.

Split is written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. In case any of you don’t know who this is, he is most famous for The Sixth Sense, Signs, The Happening, and killing any chance of an Avatar: The Last Airbender movie to happen ever again. Sixth Sense was a good movie, but after that, the movies went a bit downhill. Shyamalan is well-known now for odd plot twists in the movies. Spoiler alert, I am going to ruin some in the following sentences. In Signs, the aliens dissolve in water. Something the audience finds out by complete accident by the way. In The Happening, the plants make people kill themselves. Don’t ask me how this makes any sense, or follows any logic at all. This is where Split comes in.

I don’t know if Split really has a Shyamalan twist. I half expected Kevin to actually turn into The Beast, not just another one of his personalities. Kevin, the main character I think, but technically there are several because he has multiple personalities, is actually a really interesting character. There are multiple sides to him, not just the fact that he has multiple personalities, and I think his character is interesting even if we only meet him for five minutes. The other personalities are in control of his body more.We meet Denis, Patricia, Hedwig, and kind of Barry, but it’s more like Denis trying to act like Barry, but Barry does come out randomly, it’s odd, but goes with the plot.

The plot isn’t horrible if you look at his past movies, but it also isn’t the most interesting. I’d say what is best in this movie is the acting from James McAvoy, who plays as Kevin/Denis/Patricia/Hedwig/whomever else, and the suspense. The plot however, kind of falls flat. The rising action is fine, Devin/Patricia/Kevin kidnapped the three girls, we get flashbacks from the main girl’s story, we find out some new things about Kevin and his past, but the rising action works so well, the climax kind of poofs and is gone, and then the falling action and ending are really fast and falls flat. I think that is where this movie goes wrong. The ending doesn’t really feel like an ending. She shoots him, he survives because he’s in the “Beast” personality somehow. Shyamalan I think brought in the idea that people with multiple personalities have special abilities, but Kevin should’ve bled out from two point-blank shots from a shotgun.

I really liked the acting. Each of the personalities felt different, even when Denis was pretending to be Barry, it felt like Denis was pretending. McAvoy is amazing. The girls are not terrible. Casey, the basically main girl character, was pretty good. Through the flashbacks, we learn she was sexually assaulted by her uncle. It adds to the plot, but only because it happened to Kevin, so he didn’t kill Casey at the end because she was like him. It felt, weird? I think that’s the right word. It just felt like, oh, these happened, so she’s safe now because they went through the same thing, except she has to go back to her uncle’s at the end. The ending just felt so, odd. Not bad, but not cathartic either. I left the theater thinking, that was the ending? Oh, there was also something at the very end that I think only people who know his movies would understand. I think it was a throwback to an old character in one of Shyamalan’s movies, but I don’t know.

If you like M. Night Shyamalan, you will probably like this. If you like psychological thrillers, you will want to see this, but it is not a horror movie. Keep that in mind, if you are looking for a scare, you won’t find one. I wouldn’t see this movie again, but it’s a typical Shyamalan movie. If you like what he does, you’ll like this one.

La La Land: A Review

Warning: THIS POST WILL MOST LIKELY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE MUSICAL LA LA LAND. If you haven’t watched it yet, I highly suggest you do.

La La Land is set in California with a budding actress Mia (Emma Stone) and a jazz pianist Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) figuring out just how exactly to make their dreams come true. The plot follows Mia a bit more than Sebastian, but it’s really cute how at the beginning they don’t really even like each other. She’s trying to rehearse for an audition while waiting in traffic, and he honks at her because she won’t move when the traffic finally does move forward. They split apart, but always seem to find each other in some way or another.

I also loved the beginning of the movie because we begin with the song “Another Day of Sun,” with a bunch of people stuck in traffic. None of the singers or dancers are a major character in the movie. I liked how they didn’t introduce Mia or Sebastian until she was rehearsing and flipping him off as he drove around her, honking the entire time. You begin to love both of them from the very beginning. You will want both of their dreams to come true. Mia obviously wants to become a full-fledged actress and Sebastian, even though he doesn’t mind touring, his real dream is to open his own club.

The movie is broken up by season, beginning with Winter. This is where we meet Mia and Sebastian and learn a little of their backgrounds. It really brings the audience into the character’s shoes. As they continue to meet from Winter into Spring, they fall for each other and Summer is full of love and messing around. Outside conflicts begin to take a toll on both as he goes on tour and she writes a one-woman show.Mia pulls off her one-woman show, and Sebastian continues with the tour. And true to the name, Fall is where they split again. They realize that following their dreams might mean losing each other.

You feel for these characters. You yearn for their success, and cry with them when they hit a low cord. The musical I believe is all jazz, which I’m not familiar with at all, but fits this musical to a T. The love story of Mia and Sebastian isn’t very long, but it is strong and beautiful. Also, for those of us creators, the dreamers, the song “Audition (The Fools Who Dream)” is amazing. I really enjoyed this musical and the fact it’s original and swept the board at the Golden Globes excites me. La La Land is for us. To show dreams can come true. Just keep pushing. I highly recommend this movie! And for now, I’m going again sometime this weekend (and listen to the soundtrack in the meantime). Enjoy!